The Anatomy of a GRUE

This is the shape of a GRUE, roughly speaking. Every GRUE is a special snowflake, so there are minor differences, but like snowflakes, the general structure is the same.  GRUEs have been running for ten years and 70+ iterations and this is the flow we have found that works best.


Meet & Greet

This is a social occasion, for people to connect and re-connect in a congenial atmosphere. It’s usually in a restaurant or lounge-type place, though some are in more private locations.  While we always encourage people to be as playful as the space allows, this is not a play party per se. We encourage people to go home relatively early and rest up for the main GRUE event the next day because it starts early, and the first part is important.



Because GRUEs are participant-driven, it’s important to show up in the morning on time in order to get a feel for how the day’s going to work. Graydancer blathers for a bit, but very quickly we jump into doing all the things people are passionate about.

Once that starts, it’s full steam ahead until the end of the day. Lunch magically appears at one point, and snacks are available throughout the day, but there are no scheduled “breaks” or “class times”. At the end of the day the group gathers for some closure, and then everyone goes off to grab dinner wherever they like. This break is important, because it gives people a chance to shift mental gears and prepare for the…

The AfterGRUE!!!

Remember when I said Friday night is NOT a play party? Saturday night isn’t exactly either – it’s something better that you’re not going to find anywhere else:  an AfterGRUE.  While obviously venues and groups vary in their rules, it’s always much more than just a regular play party.  Check your expectations at the door because an AfterGRUE can be about explorations: black lights & sharpies, a room where photos are encouraged, a Loud Room and a Soft Room, a Dark Room and a Consent Room and a Wasabi Room and a Naked Doms Ranting Room and a Kinky Polka Dance Party Korner and whatever the hell else people want to do.  It’s not about the equipment, it’s about the passion and you’re playing with people who you’ve seen at their most passionate during the day.



Graydancer gets to satisfy his line-cook kink on Sunday morning as he makes everyone his World-Famous Cheap-Ass Pancakes. That means cheap, quick carbs and coffee. Others can bring breakfast stuff if they like, but the only thing we guarantee are pancakes (gluten free available upon request). This is also a time when more GRUE type discussions, activities, etc can be done, but really it’s an unwinding, a fun way to have group aftercare from the events of the day before. Usually this is either in the GRUE space or a private residence, so again you can be as comfortable and playful as you like.